ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- Your fitness journey started on the second of January. It ended on the fourth.…
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- You said "it's giving" about your own life. It's giving overdraft. It's giving rent…
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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