ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- Teamwork makes the dream work. It also means six people are ready to blame…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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