ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people.
All of them are "just seeing where it goes". It goes nowhere. It went nowhere with you twice.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- Teamwork makes the dream work. It also means six people are ready to blame…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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