ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- You bought 41 games in the Steam sale. You will play two. The other…
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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