ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You said you're "built different".
You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- The consultation runs for twelve weeks. The decision was made in week zero.
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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