ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark.
There wasn't. She knew in four minutes. You paid for both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The consultation runs for twelve weeks. The decision was made in week zero.
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Monday is a core collaboration day. As, it turns out, is every day ending…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
One quote. Every morning. Delivered before coffee, when you are weakest and the day has not yet had the chance to disappoint you itself.
No spam. Just disappointment. Unsubscribe whenever you regain hope.