ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment.
The candles are outnumbering the years you've got left.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Monday is a core collaboration day. As, it turns out, is every day ending…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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