ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime.
They said that last time. Your lifetime is very important.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Your company's core values are printed on the wall. So nobody has to have…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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