ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years.
You're the phase they'll describe to a therapist.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Your company's core values are printed on the wall. So nobody has to have…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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