ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise.
One of you will die first. It'll still be pending.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question". Zack has…
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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