ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You've got a side hustle, a passion project and a podcast.
Combined monthly income: $14. Combined listeners: your nan, twice, by accident.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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