ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You say you're "an old soul".
You're 21. The only old thing about you is your phone's battery health.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- You call it "quiet quitting". Your manager calls it "the same as before". Nobody…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- Lessons will be learned. By whom, and when, will also be learned. Eventually. Possibly.
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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