ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your soulmate is out there.
Currently leaving someone better on read.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- Monday is a core collaboration day. As, it turns out, is every day ending…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- You've got a side hustle, a passion project and a podcast. Combined monthly income:…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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