ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The first email you open on Monday is a reply-all from Friday.
Forty replies. Four mention you. None kindly.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- Monday is a core collaboration day. As, it turns out, is every day ending…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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