ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The spark never fades.
It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint funeral plan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- You say "it's not that deep" a lot. Your Notes app has 300 entries…
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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