ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
MONDAY, 11 MARCH 2019
You put "entrepreneur" in your bio.
You've sold one pair of trainers on Vinted and still owe your mum for the postage.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- You say "it's not that deep" a lot. Your Notes app has 300 entries…
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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