ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner.
You'll eat standing up for eighteen years. Then sit down and forget how.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Lessons will be learned. By whom, and when, will also be learned. Eventually. Possibly.
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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