ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to something.
They haven't. They've committed to watching your stories within four seconds and replying to nothing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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