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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION SUNDAY, 7 JUNE 2020
Everything happens for a reason.
The reason is you. It's always been you.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
  2. You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
  3. Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
  4. Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
  5. Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
  6. Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
  7. Your inbox reached zero once. The server was down. You were briefly free and…

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 445

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