ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The spark never fades.
It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint funeral plan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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