ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Start the week strong.
Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a buffering icon.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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