ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You typed "speak to an agent" nine times.
The bot sent you a help article about speaking to agents. The agents were let go in March.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- You are a valued member of the team. So was the last person in…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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