ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every Monday you swear this week will be different.
You've sworn it nine hundred times. The week stopped listening.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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