ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious.
Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it to Tuesday.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- Love is patient. Your partner is not, and has started a note on their…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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