ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- You are a valued member of the team. So was the last person in…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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