ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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