ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The customer is always right.
The customer is also on hold, forever, which is exactly how the company likes it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
- Your fitness journey started on the second of January. It ended on the fourth.…
- A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway. Written down…
- Teamwork makes the dream work. It also means six people are ready to blame…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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