ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you.
It's a debt collector.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- Your company's core values are printed on the wall. So nobody has to have…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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