ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment".
It took you three days to reply "thanks".
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- Your inbox reached zero once. The server was down. You were briefly free and…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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