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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION TUESDAY, 5 JULY 2022
Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams
than you've had about anything since 2011.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
  2. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
  3. Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
  4. They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
  5. Your fitness journey started on the second of January. It ended on the fourth.…
  6. Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
  7. Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 445

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