ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people.
All of them are "just seeing where it goes". It goes nowhere. It went nowhere with you twice.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Dress for the job you want. The job you have will see you in…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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