ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your thirties are your twenties with consequences.
The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports straight to your liver.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Dress for the job you want. The job you have will see you in…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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