ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 30 JULY 2022
Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.
They were picked first. You're what was left.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- Wealth is built slowly. Debt is built quickly. And it's hereditary.
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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