ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You've been "about to start the gym" since January.
It's October. The gym has had two owners and a refurb in the time you've been about to.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- Wildflowering means letting the relationship grow naturally, with no timeline. It has the growth…
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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