ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "chronically online".
Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have a loading icon.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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