ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
FRIDAY, 24 FEBRUARY 2023
Consistency is key.
You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only consistent thing about you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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