ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You call your mum "for advice".
You call her for the Netflix password.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- You "grew out of" your old friends. They grew out of waiting for you…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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