ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You left them on read "to be mysterious".
They didn't notice. They were also being mysterious. You're now two mysteries who will never speak again.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- The council listened to your feedback. Then it did the thing anyway, but with…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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