ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people.
All of them are "just seeing where it goes". It goes nowhere. It went nowhere with you twice.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- The council listened to your feedback. Then it did the thing anyway, but with…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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