ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "so random".
You've told the same "so random" story at every party since 2022.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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