ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Good things come to those who wait.
You waited so long they went to someone who didn't.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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