ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner.
You'll eat standing up for eighteen years. Then sit down and forget how.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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