ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 15 APRIL 2025
There's someone out there for everyone.
Yours married someone else in 2019. They look happy.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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