ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your thirties are your twenties with consequences.
The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports straight to your liver.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- The consultation runs for twelve weeks. The decision was made in week zero.
- Hard work pays off eventually. It's paying off right now. Your boss just bought…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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