ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being single means nobody steals your duvet.
It also means the duvet is the only witness to your life.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- Quality family time: everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by…
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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