ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You have a "5-year plan".
It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your company's core values are printed on the wall. So nobody has to have…
- You are a brief arrangement of atoms that learned to worry about emails.
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- Tomorrow is a fresh start. Your problems have the new address. They've already moved…
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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