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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION TUESDAY, 16 FEBRUARY 1960
Every birthday is a gift.
The gift is one fewer birthday.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
  2. You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
  3. Wealth is built slowly. Debt is built quickly. And it's hereditary.
  4. You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
  5. Your company's core values are printed on the wall. So nobody has to have…
  6. You are a brief arrangement of atoms that learned to worry about emails.
  7. There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 446

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