ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Consistency is key.
You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only consistent thing about you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- In three generations, nobody will remember your name. You don't know your great-grandmother's, so…
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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