ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
THURSDAY, 28 JULY 1960
Move fast and break things.
You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your sleep. Series A next.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- Limited-time event. Will not return. Neither will your Saturday.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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