ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
They posted an apology in the Notes app.
It was addressed to the fans. The person they hurt didn't get a screenshot.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- They're on a comeback tour. It's the fourth. They have never been anywhere long…
- Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
- The form needs a form. The second form is not currently available.
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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